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dear internet, let me tell you some things about my public-school-in-georgia sex education.

pictured above is my abstinence til marriage card, given to me in my eighth grade health class. as you can see, i did not sign it, so it is non-binding. they were “optional” but the teacher placed the basket at the front of the class and stared us down. my 13-year-old self had a very brief dilemma between 1. making a stand and not getting one or 2. getting one because it’s fucking hilarious. i am very glad i chose the latter, because as i predicted, this is now something hilarious to show everyone.

that year in health we also learned “how to spot the identifying features of a crack baby” which is literally nothing but lies. we had a system of anonymous questions, and once someone asked “how do i know if i’m a lesbian?” our teacher looked disgusted and she replied “how would i know? i’m not a lesbian!”

EDIT i forgot to mention when she gave these to us she suggested we “cut up our cards together with our husbands on our wedding day” and i remember thinking, fuck if i marry someone from my middle school

the next time i had sex ed in high school it was taught by a dude gym coach who spent the whole time talking about his daughters. the book we were learning from listed “low self-esteem” “stunted social growth” and “depression,” among others, as consequences of premarital sex. at one point, it asked us to fill in the disadvantages of having an abortion. our teacher went, “well, i’m personally against abortion, so we’re just going to skip this section,” which confused me, because it was explicitly asking for an argument against abortion.

the last time i had sex ed it was pretty good and there were free condoms and we got little bottles of lube every time we answered questions, but i don’t think that counts cause it was in an intro to women’s studies class.

in my 8th grade health class we watched this video about abstinence and the slogan was “a condom can’t protect your heart”

Our school made us watch a video with some man talking about how virginity was like a flower and that whenever we had sex with someone we’d give a bit of that flower away. Then when we met someone we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with we’d just be left with a wilted stem and a couple of petals when we should be giving them a whole flower.

I really wish I was joking.

In church they used to tell us that we were like cupcakes and if we were physically intimate with our partners it was like getting the icing licked off, and therefore no one would want you afterwards because no one wants a licked cupcake. 

in my sex ed class we did this demonstration where they had this line of kids swish and spit out water and combine the nasty backwash to make this gross concoction as a metaphor for how sex before marriage makes you dirty and gross

fucking public education

I might as well add my church group.  We had to open a kiss candy, put it in our mouth, melt it a little bit and then put it back in the wrapper.  From their we had to hand it someone else and they explained, “this is what happens when you have sex before marriage.  You have to give those dirty leftovers to your spouse.”

In my grade 8 “sex ed” class we all listened to the song “I dreamed a dream” from Les Mis and then the teacher was like THIS IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU HAVE SEX and I really kind of wanted to do it just to see if I really would become a 19th century French prostitute with a beautiful singing voice

Every time I hear stories like these, I think what the fuck kind of a sex education did you American kids get omfg.

A woman who says “No thanks, I’ll sleep on the floor”; a woman who freezes up and tenses at your touch; a woman who says “I really don’t want to” and “We really shouldn’t” and “We can’t” and “Please at least wear a condom” is not saying yes to you, and if you would like to pretend that that is unclear, you are a liar, you are being disingenuous, you are lying and you know it.

Mallory Ortberg, "What counts?" (via dolorimeter)

Okay holy shit this is worth reading not just because it’s Mallory Ortberg but because it’s a perfect example of one of the reasons you shouldn’t perpetuate rape culture. Sure, *you* know it’s “just a joke,” but clearly the woman who wrote this rape-excusing essay does not know that. She puts out so many assertions with a clear belief that these are ordinary shared values and they are horrifying alien values and SHE DOES NOT SEEM TO KNOW THAT. She literally details her sexual abuse of her sister when they were children, says she’s not sure why they don’t speak as adults, and states she knows the reader will tell her that abuse “doesn’t count.” She casually says that everybody is emotionally abusive because everybody SHE knows is emotionally abusive. This person lives in the goddamn Black Lodge and thinks that’s what the world looks like.

(via socialworkgradstudents)






I Love My Boo campaign features real young men of color loving each other passionately. Rather than sexualizing gay relationships, this campaign models caring, and highlights the importance of us taking care of each other. Featured throughout New York City, I Love My Boo directly challenges homophobia and encourages all who come across it to critically rethink our notion of love.

GMHC is the world’s first and leading provider of HIV/AIDS prevention, care and advocacy. Building on decades of dedication and expertise, we understand the reality of HIV/AIDS and empower a healthy life for all. GMHC fights to end the AIDS epidemic and uplift the lives of all affected.

this is fucking adorable


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so impt




Save this to your phones or computer and post it on other websites like twitter too!

Why would you NOT reblog this?

so impt

"How do you find the right condom? There are so many brands and types! It’s so overwhelming!"





Submitted by Anonymous

My first answer, of course, is just try them out!

You can buy a variety pack that you find at the drug store and try all the different colors and flavors and sizes etc.  See what you think about them.


They really do come in tons of different sizes and shapes and with different “for the wearer” and “for the partner” benefits or tricks.  Some people will love all the different bumps and lumps and ridges and ripples and warming lubricant and cooling lubricant and flavors etc, and other people will really want to go with a pretty straight forward, old school condom.  Either is fine.

Here are some “top condom” review lists:

Women’s Health Mag Top 25
Condom Depot Top Condoms for 2014

Your other option is to try a sampler pack.

Some basics about condoms:

I promise that they’ll fit.  Look at this:


This person has pulled an average-sized condom over their entire arm - don’t try to tell me that your penis won’t fit.

How t.o put on a condom:


Condoms are available in many different materials:

  • Latex: most common.  Some people have latex allergies - consider this if your penis or vagina has sensitivity specific to condoms.  (Also consider any spermicide or lubricant that may be on the condom.) Do not use oil-based lubricants with Latex condoms.
  • Polyurthane: Next most popular.  No allergies, no lubricants it cannot be used with.  Thinner than latex.  Can be more expensive.  Try Trojan Bareskin Supra Condom.
  • Polyisoprene: Another alternative for those who are allergic to latex.  They’re cheaper than polyurthane but thicker.  They’re softer and have a more “natural” feel.  Try LifeStyle’s Skyn condom.
  • Lambskin: Not actually lamb skin, they’re actually made from lamb intestine.  Protects against pregnancy BUT DOES NOT PROTECT AGAINST STI/STDs.  I really advise just going with something else.
  • Nitrile: Most “female” condoms, or “internal” condoms are being made out of Nitrile now.  It’s also used in disposable gloves (either for sex or medical purposes). Nitrile can use oil based lube safely.

Read more about choosing condoms here and here.

Have fun!

Hey themidwifeisin, normally I really love your posts because they are SUPER informed but I felt I needed to address something, particularly about condom sizing. 

As condomdepot can tell you, condoms come in multiple sizes for a reason. The fact that you CAN stretch a condom to ridiculous lengths doesn’t mean it will remain intact during sex if stretched to that length, because sex adds friction to the mixture. Those images are really misleading and can cause assumptions and condom misuse. 

Now, this shouldn’t be an excuse not to use condoms, but instead should be a reason to look for condoms that fit properly. Don’t let a potential partner use an excuse that the condom doesn’t fit.Unsafe sex is a risk to your sexual health. 

i echo what ems said and i can offer some specific links about condom sizes

  1. Finding Your Perfect Condom Size In Three Fast Steps
  2. Condom Size Chart
  3. Condom Size Infographic

those are three that i think are incredibly helpful and i also really want to stress and echo that just because a condom can stretch over an entire person’s arm does not mean it will be comfortable for the condom-wearer. there is a reason condoms come in different sizes! 

having a condom that is too small can cause breakage and having a condom that is too loose means it can come off. both put the people having sex at risk for sti transmission and/or pregnancy!

trying a bunch of different condoms is a good idea but what is important and makes it MUCH easier is to measure first and then find condoms within your size range (which from my experience, the boxes have nominal width listed on the back of the box but checking out certain brands via condomdepot and/or the links i’ve listed can make it even easier to find the size that will fit snugly without being too tight or too loose AND you won’t waste a bunch of money on condoms you can’t/won’t ever use)

and finally, i just want to urge caution when using flavoured condoms for vaginal sex because some people with vaginas are too sensitive and might get irritation and/or even infections if flavoured condoms are used down there. 

Thanks for specifying that -  I didn’t make it clear enough.   I agree - sizing is incredibly important, and finding the right condom will not only protect you from breakage or inability to stay on, but it will also make the entire experience more comfortable.  My point was to say that there will always be a condom that fits, and saying that a condom is too small for one’s penis is not an excuse for not wearing one.  

As far as flavored condoms and condoms with spermicide or lubricant goes - yes, you should be careful with these if your vagina is normally sensitive, but that doesn’t mean you have to avoid them all together.  Find the one that works for you.  The only time that I suggest that condom flavoring might be causing an infection is when a patient of mine is experiencing repeat infections that are not being managed by other methods of treatment.  So don’t stress about it if you already use and like specific condoms that have flavoring, spermicide, warming/cooling or other lubricants already on.

Thanks again for specifying all that about condom sizing.  It’s great to have readers who can pitch in when I space out!






Breaking The Male Code: After Steubenville, A Call To Action

 (Left to Right): Peter Buffett, Jimmie Briggs, Joe Ehrmann, Tony Porter,
 Dave Zirin and Moderator Eve Ensler.



Just for funsies:

Look at the male body language in the beginning (open) vs the body language in the third and fourth (closed, arms crossed, protecting the midsection and torso).

They don’t look very comfortable any more, do they?

oh SHIT.


Starting a series. It’s not radical to expect your boundaries to be respected, or safety on the streets. It’s not radical to want a good, clear, standard for consent. It’s not radical to want to stop victim blaming. It’s not radical to want to destroy rape culture.